Would it surprise you to learn that I’m a massive fan of the post punk/neo space age rock trio MUSE. If so then clearly you don’t know me. So when the album trailer for their upcoming album “The Second Law” I was all getting excited like “OMG NEW MUSE ALBUM YES, AWSOME,” and then I had another thought: since when where album trailers made.

Then a few days later would you believe it my other favouritest band in the world Green Day came out with a trailer for their new album ¡Uno! and I was geeking out again getting all excited and that nagging voice came back. Since when was it acceptable or even just common practice to release an album trailer? Is it just a product of the whole You Tube marketing model or something else? Let me know if you think A) the album trailer is a good idea and B) why do you think they came about?

I HATE sports, but I LOVE rounders...

Hot weather like this always brings back memories of long, intense rounders games on the top field. Rounders is the ideal sport for me, first of all because the exercise to standing around in the sun ratio is good, something along the lines of 1:3. I can live with that. The sun beating down on my face and neck as I watch the bowler sling it direct to the left so I can pick it up and field it right back without the batter glancing it. This trick was an essential part of some rounders games because one of our PE teachers had this insane rule which meant that after two balls you had to run regardless of if you’ve hit it or not. If you missed, it’s first base for you. No one scored any rounders when we played like that. And all the time I’ve hardly moved an inch. Genius.

The other reason I became fond of the game is the strategy. Kids listen up, this is how you win a game of rounders.To win a game of rounders you have to lose a game of rounders. Sounds dumb but think about it, even Shakespeare finished writing something once looked up, read it over and said “this fucking sucks!” Or words to that effect. Why else would there be a missing play? Rounders is exactly like that, if you lost a rounder because you fumbled or didn’t make a decision fast enough then you can learn form that mistake and become a better player. For example, I once hit the ball a reasonable distance and ran to first, the outfield had already thrown it in and I made a wrong decision and ran for second. The outfielder got the ball to the stump just in time to put me out of that game. But I never made that mistake again.

And finally I loved the thrill. That one moment of glory and jubilation as you hit the ball far off into the left field where that one girl whose too busy worrying if one of the boys playing is looking at her in her ugly PE uniform. An FYI ladies, boys aren’t looking at you when they’re playing sports. And as the ball rolled out of her sweaty palms and hit the old chain link fence I ran. I ran like no one else, as if I were on fire. Not even my bullies and tormentors laughing at my awkward run could stop me as I rounded the last hurdle, fourth base stumbled, lost the ball and I tapped in for a sweet taste of victory. No one called me gay for the rest of that day, at least, not the jocks on my team.  

The DIAMOND Jubilee – 60 years and going strong...

Last week, Millions gathered together in London and the rest of the UK to celebrate Queen Elizabeth II’s Diamond jubilee – and what a celebration it was! From boats to horserace’s, from ceremonies to pop stars, London was the place to be.

     

Undeniably, the highlight of the Jubilee ceremony was the concert.  The best of British and global sensations gathered onto one small stage, to sing for the nation, the queen, and the globe. From Will.I.am to Elton John, the evening provided a wide variety of different music cultures and genres, aiming to please as many crowds as possible. Not to mention the amazing Commonwealth Band performing a composition by Andrew Lloyd-Weber and Gary Barlow! The most famous family in the world took their places in the Royal box to watch acts that treaded boards, from anthems to hip hop mash-ups, the concert supplied the royals with a diverse ensemble to say the least.

       Of course, her Royal highness was 40 minutes late to the gig (wearing earplugs!) due to the Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Philip, being rushed to hospital with a worrying bladder infection. Just months after his nearly fatal heart jitter worried the nation. Nevertheless, the Queen arrived with a very neutral, royal face, ready for the night’s festivities to continue…although, pointed out by presenter and comedian, Lennie Henry, “She missed Tom Jones!"

       The gig started with a brass band opening from the Coldstream Guards, followed by a rather militarized entrance by none other than Robbie Williams, rocking out to “Let Me Entertain You”. Overall, the opening wasn’t brilliant for me. Although, Robbie a very talented icon of British pop, was right to be there, he needed to find the balance between singing and jumping around, getting the crowd to cheer. Which he could have done just by singing the famous tune. But instead was out of breath after the first minute of the song. Much like not-so-fit-anymore-Cliff Richard. Who in my opinion hasn’t been a heartthrob since the sixty’s and the sooner he realises that the better. He performed a melody of songs through the decades of her majesty’s reign. But by the time he got to the seventies it was like “Hey, Dude, do you need an oxygen mask?” Although, there is no doubt he can still sing and is possibly the biggest British individual musician globally, he hasn’t got the moves anymore, therefore I think made a fool of himself at the end when he bopped his booty sideways, nearly damaging the prosthetic hip at the same time. As the night drew on, we discovered Will.I.am should stick to producing, Cheryl (no longer Cole) still hasn’t been able to sing live since she went to the states and got rejected, Alfie Boe, can perform mesmerizing opera whilst performing a brilliant impersonation as the king of rock n’ roll, Stevie wonder is still one of the amazing musicians alive and Elton can still pull off a pink jacket and those sunny sunglasses!

         The last performance was Madness performing the incredibly catchy “Our House” on top of the palace whilst projections of typical 50’s style houses was launched onto the colossal crib itself. A brilliant performance it was too!

        To bring the night to a close, Prince Charles addressed his mother, his Queen, with a etiquette, yet heart touching speech which made the crowd go crazy. Finishing with the Queen, now smiling, placing the HUGE diamond crystal onto the podium, lighting the Jubilee beacon.

So to round off, an awesome Jubilee which will go down in history as one of the greatest celebrations in the twenty-first century. Over the past two years, the nation has seemed to rebuild its faith into the royal family – and I think now, especially Prince Charles – after the death of Princess Diana in the mid-90’s, which shook the world and its love for the British Monarch. But it seems the nation is willing to forgive now. The celebrations and specifically the concert, has brought the nation together once more to realise that yes, we may be a small nation, in economic ruins and little to be happy about, but we know how to be brilliant and party like there’s no tomorrow.

So not just congratulations to Her Majesty, The Royals, or pop stars. Congratulations to YOU patriarchs. Because you are the ones who put great in Great Britain!

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 Written by James Pullan

Objectification and You

There are only three things in this world that fill me with real rage and anger:

1.     Racism

2.     Bullying

3.     And Sexism

But Olli you say, women have the vote and make up 51% of the population, how can you say there is still sexism. Oh boy do we have some work to do.

Yes you have quite correctly said that women make up 51% of the population, so in this modern world you’d expect them to earn 51% of the money. Actually on average they earn 17% less than men and make up 70% of the population of those in poverty. Why you ask, well think about it, you’re on a plane going to Spain or somewhere. The captain’s voice comes on over the tannoy  “This is your captain speaking, blah, blah...” Imagine the voice. My guess is it’s a male voice rather than a female voice right? Maybe that’s why only 6% of pilots in the U.S are Female? Sure that’s only one profession but try again, picture a doctor. Bet your imagined doctor wasn’t a woman. So with this in mind is it any surprise that employers would rather employ a male candidate then a female candidate if they are equally qualified. Or maybe she’d get the job if she has nice tits.

This (conveniently) brings me onto my second point that makes me angry, women in the media.

 Let’s play a game, its called “nameapopstarandthinkabouthowgoodarolemodelsheis”  (copyright 2012). Like Vera Lynn in the good old days of “Keep Calm and Carry On”. I pick that charming young “lady” Katy Perry. With music videos that might as well be soft-core porn and lyrics bursting with innuendo and straight up perverted images. Not to mention the fact that she seems to have no disenable talent at all and like most pop starlets, sucked her way to the top. One record executive at a time. I’m so glad I don’t’ have a daughter. It appears that “nameapopstarandthinkabouthowgoodarolemodelsheis”  (copyright 2012)  really doesn’t have a future because all pop stars act like cheap whores for our pleasure that really makes me sick. 

The way the media presents women is disgusting, they present them just like you would food. Like something for you to consume and throw away when you’re done with it. Jeez it’s like they’re not even people or anything. That’s the saddest thing of all; no one seems to understand that  women are people with insecurities and a beating heart and a desire to be loved. Just like you and me, a person.  So do me a favor:  treat them like one.

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Written by Olli Gilford

May I have your attention please? REVIEW

James Corden.  The man, the big cheese. The VERY big cheese. Being a massive fan of James since Gavin and Stacey hit mainstream comedy, and watching him recently in the hit new - now west end - play One Man Two Governors! its going to be hard to review this book without being bias to the fact that he's an inspiration to me. But Alas, I shall try...

I'll start with saying what you're all thinking... How can a bloke write a autobiography at 33 years of age? It surely can't be an amazing, enticing story, portraying one mans life, when its only just begun? 

Well it does just that. And I'll tell you for why: James Corden has had enough adventures, heart breaks, big breaks and dead ends to cater for two lives, at least.

The book starts by giving us an insight into the life of a chubby kid born in Hillingdon, London and raised in  Hazlemere, Buckinghamshire. Without giving away too much about the book, Corden discovered from a very young age that he wanted to be the center of attention - Hence the name of the book! 

The book goes on to say how the salvation army boy was a rebellious, school-hater who skipped compulsory education to stay home eating cereal and watching day time television. He caused disruption to his classmates and nearly caused his family to break up. 

James certainly didn't have the most conventional up bringing. But his passion for acting, comedy and most certainly at this time, SINGING... is what led him through the dark, cringy but hilarious state of childhood.

The story continues to give us amazingly funny anecdotes - including a strip club with Steve Coogan And Rob Brydon! - And heartbreaking stories of loves he's lost and career twisting mistakes. 

So to conclude...

James Corden "Smithy" Timms" "Craig Owens" "Fletch" writes a sad, yet hilarious, truthful story of his brilliant life. One of my favorite autobiographies. 

Written by James Pullan

For Reasons Unknown

“Any of you people ever loved somebody? Sometimes it comes very quickly, very easily. As easy as the way a beautiful English girl’s hair falls across her shoulder. Sometimes it disappears just as quick. You wake up one morning, the butterflies stop fluttering. But you want it back and you want to fight for it. You want to breathe that fire again! So you call for it. You call out.”  - Brandon Flowers (Lead Singer of The Killers), 2009

For some reason I’m addicted to the song "For Reasons Unknown by The Killers". I was first made to listen to the song by my friend Joe. He was drunk messaging me at some ungodly hour at night, going on about this and that and he sent me this video of The Killers live at the Royal Albert Hall (Link at the end of the article if you’re interested). Despite the half awake/half asleep haze of 1am I knew immediately that this song was important. It’s a earthy song about love fading away and not really knowing the reason why. It’s also just quintessentially The Killers sound and I love The Killers. There’s a good chance that if you like this song you’ll like most of the rest of The Killers work.  To me, this song represents both the band and the feeling of losing love perfectly.

I know that feeling, how confusing and weird it can be but you just know. One moment you just know that you no-longer love someone and that’s ok.  Mostly. It’s like losing your favorite toy as a kid, your sad but you know you’ll never get it back, so what’s the point in crying. But toys don’t have feelings or hearts. Hearts that don’t deserve to be broken and you don’t want to break but feel like you have to. You want that little toy rabbit back but you’ll never get it, the maid took it home for her kids. It doesn’t belong to you anymore. Just like for reasons unknown, love doesn’t belong to you anymore.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1JZEedIwkY

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Written by Oliver Gilford

Are Kids Exposed To Explicit Content Too Much?

For the past few years, pop stars costumes have gotten smaller and smaller, their lyrics have gotten more and more sexual, and their dancing has become suggestive of things that children should not be exposed to as much.

"We'll melt your popsicle," Perry sings to tots.

       Global artists like Rihanna, Katy Perry, and even Lady Gaga strut their stuff in their music videos wearing next to nothing like it’s the normal thing to do. Maybe it is, but not when at least 40% of your audiences are barely out of their Huggies.

Pop artists like Rihanna are to RAUNCHY for charts!

      Not only is it the costumes, but the lyrics that they sing. Rihanna wrote a song with a chorus consisting of lines like “sex in the air” and “whips and chains excite me.” Katy Perry sings, “We’ll melt your popsicle” and “sex on the beach.” Gaga sings, “I want your vertical stick.” Children not only repeat these words nonchalantly, but also question the connotations behind the lyrics. They’re left alone to wonder about the sexual references that the artists are inflicting on them. I feel for them, I really do. Back when I was a little, S Club 7 had a hit called “don’t stop movin’.” Of course this was clear to mean dancing rather than anything else. But if Rihanna released a hit under the same title, we’d automatically think it was something to do with sex. And that’s just based on her previous records.

         So what do we do about this? At the moment, children have to be brought into the adult world younger than ever before thanks to pop sensations’ innuendos. Maybe there needs to be a parental advisory sticker on the CD’s. Although, I can’t see that would make a difference, considering most parents just suffice to their child’s demands in the modern working day rather than spend time with them and bring them up in a sex free zone.  

 Society can’t go on like this or children’s innocent minds will be taken at an earlier age and what it means to be a child will be changed indefinitely.

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Come back tomorrow and read the next article which

Will be “kindles, tablets, and new technology: are they better than a good ol’ paperback?” See you then!

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